Arkansas... really?

I miss Arkansas... a lot! I miss the beauty, the simplicity, the smells, the way of life there. Dallas has always been home and it's supposed to be what feels right, but I left my heart in Arkansas. The one place I was so ready to get out of because I didn't think it held anything for me, has now become the place I see as hope, change, a future. 

The mere thought of leaving this place is terrifying, yet thrilling!!!! I'm not a big risk taker unless I know I won't fall on my face too bad, but this time I'm ready to leap into the unknown. I've been having a lot of deep, adult conversations with people that I trust lately and I'm learning that it's about time I act my age. You only live once, so make your mistakes while you can because it's a lot easier to find yourself now, then to lose yourself completely later on because you never took the chance to discover who you really are. 

I'm ready to get out on my own with some good friends. Time to learn to be an adult without someone telling you how to do it. People want to protect me from making mistakes, which I understand, but at the same time I have to make some mistakes for myself. I'm going to have to learn and grow and that requires mistakes. And hey, if you can have some best girl friends by your side, it makes the journey even more hell of a ride. It would be nice to stand on my own two feet and not live with the rents anymore. And Dallas is just not where I belong right now. 

Girls my age are wanting to get married and are planning their futures with Mr. Right. Me... not so much. Yes, that would probably be the ideal... or so I've been told or influenced to believe, but I've always been a little different. Falling in love would be great, but getting married not really a feasible option for me. I'm still trying to find myself. I'm not the same girl I was in college. Everything I wanted then has drastically changed. Like the saying goes, you have to learn to walk before you can run. So here's to being able to walk confidently as an independent person who wants to experience life for myself. I can guarantee I will stumble, but I will stumble with flare! And really, I think everyone needs some time to be young, take responsibility for themselves, work hard, and still have fun with friends. 

So now to find a job in Little Rock. God has slammed shut a lot of doors on me lately, so He's bound to open one eventually.